Chrone Talk 1: Tara Reid is Scary

My first declaration as the resident chrone is to declare Tara Reid to be scary.  First, she has weird-ass stomach bolts.  Sure, the facts may say that it was just jewelry on an invisible wire, but we all know that it’s really a sign that she’s a robot from outer space.

Second, there’s the fact that Tara Reid is ridiculously freaking skinny, which makes her look like she’s about to implode on herself.

And let’s not even talk about her freaky breasts that popped out the other day.  Stay away from me, scary Tara Reid.

There.  How’s that for an obvious declaration to start off my speaking series?  I hope for more interesting speaking to follow.

Hear Me Speak

Yes, I may be a chrone, but I still speak.

No, I do not have Chrone’s Disease.  I am something different.

No, I am not a crone.  I know how to spell.  Do not taunt me with a dictionary as you are no doubt tempted to do.

My speaking will enlighten and amaze you.  Do not be startled, your puny Earth brains will soon learn to comprehend my words without so much screaming.  It will just take a little getting used to, that’s all.

Please be patient while the speaking commences.  I expect it to start shortly.